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Danielle Theis Consulting

Support for children impacted by Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs)

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Compliance Vs New Skills

Compliance Vs New Skills

Consequences Are Not the Answer

There are adults in our schools who believe these are just naughty children who should be punished to correct their behavior.  Yet we know that compliance is the most ineffective response for children who have experienced trauma and have difficulty trusting adults. We also know that consequences are the least effective response when trying to teach children new skills. We cannot punish new skills into children. We have to change the way we see who we serve,  so we can reach them and teach them.  Adults need to be trained in a different paradigm to make this happen.

Trauma responsive schools are aware of the impact of trauma on children. They acknowledge that they cannot educate as they always have due to what we know about trauma: how it impacts the brain, how children perceive adults and adult managed places, why children display the things they do, and the impact trauma has on learning. A trauma responsive school will not blame children for showing us that they dysregulate easily. A trauma responsive school will not support adults who want to punish this away.  Schools must teach and normalize regulation while offering consistent opportunities to observe and practice it.  Kids can then  demonstrate what they have learned.

Is it a Skill Deficit, or Choice?

If a child was struggling to learn to read, we would find another way to assist them in reading. When children dysregulate, we teach them regulatory skills.  This is a skill deficit; it is not about choice.  Social emotional learning is an imperative part of educating young human beings.  It should be prioritized as high as reading, writing, and math.  In addition, children have to believe that the adults want them to be successful. A compliance mindset is not helpful for children who display maladaptive behaviors. These children need to believe that the adult interacting with them wants them to be successful, can move past the things the child displays, and stay present with them in a  nonjudgmental state of mind. If we want kids to take risks and try new ways of managing themselves, they have to believe that we want what is best for them and we are not going to demand it out of them. We are going to meet them where they are, move with them at their pace, and walk forward together.

Aggression, a Dangerous Word

Aggression is a word we should use with significant caution when applying it to what children do.  An adult may define something a child displays as aggressive, whereas another adult may find the behavior to simply be loud, or in motion. This is a term, and a label, that can follow a child far beyond the situation.  Children should never be defined by something they displayed in a moment in time.  Kids are trying to get their needs met, and at times communicate their needs through maladaptive behavior.  This is a skill deficit; this is not about children purposely trying to be naughty.  It is about not having the skills to regulate themselves.

Child behavior exists on a continuum from nonverbal things like posturing (using the body or face to try to manage the person/ situation), to significant property damage and/or harm to others.  Children have varying experiences and behaviors modeled for them by different people in different settings. Kids may think that it is not aggressive until there is hitting, or something is broken. An adult might think it is aggressive when the child is raising their voice, or swearing.  It is important that adults who serve vulnerable children understand their own definitions of aggression.  That definition, and corresponding perception, will guide the language adults use to describe what children do.  We better serve children when we state what the display looked like, sounded like, and how it moved, to determine the most appropriate response to assist in teaching new skills.

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I found it incredibly helpful to see how each intervention tied into a primary emotion for the student which in turn helped to guide me in how I should be addressing that student. I also appreciated learning some of the foundations which made gaining understanding of the philosophy and procedures easier. LSCI training will make me take a closer look at my interactions with students in crisis. I will reflect on the underlying reasons for the crisis and determine how I can best address those reasons and hopefully facilitate insight and skills for the student to access in the future.

Behavior Interventionist

I work as a behavioral dean of students and see myself using them daily with students to de-escalate situations.

Dean of Students

I think I will also try to be more mindful of the words I choose to use, specifically paying more attention to making validating responses rather than the first thing that comes to mind as a common response.

General Education Teacher

It is exciting to think about how this information can really be used as an intervention tool to teach students the skills they are lacking. So often we miss out on the importance of teaching the skill versus putting a band aid on the situation in the moment. Communication upfront with staff will be important to help define roles and responsibilities and to state our purpose behind this work. I will need to be strategic in thinking about how we all build a system’s picture for how this will impact our building and practices.

High School Principal

I feel like I finally understand why we aren’t going straight to consequences because growing up there was always a consequence. I do like the conflict cycle because that gives me a better understanding of where the student is coming from.

Paraprofessional

I see myself using this information and skills mostly in the way I interact with students in their moments of dis-regulation. I have new verbiage in what students may be experiencing based on conversation and new skills on how to work with that. I also want to use this information in being more specific with the needs of the student. Now that I have a better picture of what students may be feeling or thinking, I have new skills/tools to help that issue specifically.

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Compliance Vs New Skills

Compliance Vs New Skills

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Boy screaming

How Do I Respond?

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Educators know, when this population
is successful, all kids are successful.

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Teach To HealDanielle provides trainings and consultative services to support children impacted by Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs), and the adults who serve them, in our schools and communities.

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